Tuesday, 28 July 2009

New Islands Album

It's called 'Vapours' and it's going to be more electronic. Old news cos I'm slow and don't really read music websites. I suppose these top two songs are from it. They sound really boring. Islands/Unicorns are one of my favourite things ever and I really hope they haven't gone bad. But they kind of definitely have, right?

He always comes across amazing in interviews. But when we saw them live he was sulky.

Saturday, 25 July 2009

Three Anagrams Of My Name




Friday, 24 July 2009

Oxford Brookes Halls

This post has nothing to do with anything else I have written about, I am writing in case someone finds it searching for information about halls of residence at Oxford Brookes. I dunno, they might be starting this year or something.

I love Brookes, I think it is a great uni, friendly and helpful, I like the library, I enjoy my lectures, I am even growing fond of the comprehensive school aesthetic. I would not talk anyone out of going there. But I would happily talk anyone out of staying in halls there. The rent is ridiculously overpriced - about £100 p/w, and that is non-ensuite in fairly old halls that are rumoured to be up for demolition next year. Internet is not free, it is £2.50 p/w, which adds up to about £70 for the year, and it is not wireless. They have keys to everyone's rooms and are not afraid to use them - during a room check I had a foldup mattress removed on health and safety grounds (Er...what? I would think throughout history mattresses have prevented more injuries than they have caused). I tried to move out cos I didn't feel it was worth the money, but I had to find someone to replace me and take over my contract or else keep paying it. This would have been almost reasonable if they hadn't had TONS of empty rooms already, making the chance of someone taking my room almost nil.

Just a quick comparison, in case newcomers to uni don't have one - Sussex uni halls cost £70 p/w for ensuite(!) and have two fridges and freezers per flat (with the same number of people per flat), free internet, and if you want to leave at any time you pay £30 and that is that.

I hope I am allowed to write this without Brookes kicking me out. Failing that, I hope they don't see it.

Wednesday, 22 July 2009


I've started a blog to put stories I write on. I don't know if I'll write many because I only tend to do it when I feel like it, and I don't feel like it very regularly. I don't think they're high art.

Anyway it's here: BIGTIME FICTION

I think my writing tends to get influenced too easily. Pretty much you can tell what the last book I read was for each story, probably.

Good Brain

I had this idea for a gameshow where contestants have to open boxes to decide whether or not they have to kill minor celebrities. I am going to call it Dale Or No Dale

Tuesday, 21 July 2009

Retro Email Convo

I was searching for something in my emails and I found this gem. It is something DCB Promotions sent out. It is amazing:

If any of you know any good young musicians in Bristol please pass this on to them

Hi All,
I need to put together a very specific covers band for an underage club night i am setting up in Bristol.
Read this and please pass it on to other members of your band you think may be interested
The band will play very current indie rock pop songs Arctic Monkeys, Klaxons, Foo Fighters etc
This will not interfere with any other band you are in and should be considered a bit of fun on the side,
the band will get paid and probably only play once a month, rehearsals will be once a week (paid for by me)
you must be no older (or look no older) than 21
look cool, funky, sexy with a strong overall image
good musician with own kit
must be able to make your own way to bristol with your gear when needed
Get back to me putting your name, number and personal myspace page against the position you could fill below,
if you haven't got a personal page put your band page pointing out who you are on pics, if you dont have a
website attach a picture, the look of this band is really important so i need to see you.
Lead Vocals -
Lead Guitar -
Rhythm Guitar -
Bass -
Drums -
Keyboards -
If you put Lead vocalist and can also play an instrument put you name against the instrument you play as well
Dave Brayley
dcb Promotions & Management ltd 30a college green, bristol, bs1 5tb 0117 9834503



I replied to it, and me and Dave Brayley (who I presume imaginatively named DCB Promotions after his own initials) had a little electronic conversation.

Me: WHY are looks so important?

Dave: i said look cool not have good looks

"the look of this band is really important" ...why are looks so important?

yes, the look, whats wrong with a band looking great

nothing, i'm asking why they HAVE to

because for this particular thing i want a band that looks good, why have you got a problem with that

because i think bands look good when they are being themselves, playing original music, not when they are put together solely because someone thinks they can make money out of it.

its quite clear what this if for, a covers band, if its something your not interested in then just ignore it, 99% of what we do is with original bands, this isnt

good point, it's not like you ever book cover bands at the fleece, is it...


oh sweet! hard-fi!

ok, send me a link to your band


really like it

can i have a gig then?

He didn't reply to the last one. Anyway I don't know if this proves much other than I used to be (?) a bit of a knob. It's a shame people like this make a living from music, but it's not the only way.... right?

Monday, 20 July 2009

Bachman-Turner Overdrivel

I have no money. But what I do have is enthusiasm! But not for getting a job. What I would love most of all right now is for someone to give me some money, enough money to pay my rent, and not want it back, ever. And for there to be no guilt in that.

My main idea is to get money for making hilarious tshirts, but I haven't sold any yet. Maybe it's cos they look like crap. My other idea for making money is to write a novel. I heard that was a quick easy way to get rich. Also I might become a DJ. I think I am suitably obnoxious. My only rule would be that I wouldn't talk over records, because that is the most annoying thing that DJs do.

I did sort of think that maybe I could be a professional footballer still, but actually I am in training for a run for charity, and judging by the massive pain I experience everytime I do exercise, maybe I don't have much chance. It's mainly my right knee rather than my aerobic fitness I think, so hopefully I can sort it out. The doctor wouldn't do anything though, would he or she?

Seriously now, my actual idea for making money is to make a living from quiz shows. Just last Thursday I went to Pinewood Studios near Slough to be on Wogan's Perfect Recall. I don't know if it breaks the terms of my contract to say if I won. But... I have no money, okay? It was kind of worth it though, for the experience of meeting possibly the nicest man in the world. Terry Wogan is seventy years old. I am going to apply for some more. The only problem is that it is not what you might call a guaranteed income. I might apply for 20 shows and get on none. Or I might get on 20 and win none. But I do think that the type of knowledge I have is perfect for quizzes - no in-depth understanding of anything worth knowing but a knack for remembering crap sitcoms, football team nicknames and the middle initials of US Presidents.